10 Life Lessons.

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"Be the change you want to see in the world" ~ Mahatma Gandhi.

We all have life lessons, maxims we live by and try to pass on to others. Our children, friends and family hopefully see them embodied in the way we live our lives. Below are ten simple life lessons I've learned from my first half century. What are your 10 Life Lessons?

1. Expect more of yourself than others think is wise.
2. You are never a failure - until you blame others.
3. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
4. People will listen, but no-one really cares about your opinions; until you've earned their respect.
5. Children don't need critics - they need models.
6. Action cures fear.
7. When we think we are good - we are not.
8. Never be late - it's the most arrogant insult to others.
9. We all die and we are all accountable for our lives.
10. Be the change you want to see in the world.

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Heroes of Humility.

"By pursuing humility we will never attain it." ~ Worthington.

I recently read a fascinating book "Humility the Quiet Virtue" which massaged my mind and stirred my soul. The book hypothesized steps toward developing humility including nixing narcissism, eliminating entitlement, defeating pride, cultivating an accurate sense of self and practicing additional virtues. Truly worthy aspirations in todays ego centric, fifteen minutes of fame, media driven society. Then it paradoxically stated - "By pursuing humility we will never attain it" - talk about a catch 22. ~ So what the heck are we supposed to do?

Being an ardent admirer of quiet professionalism and individuals who embody the challenge put to each of us to "Be the change you want to see in the world" this presented an additional dilemma. We all inevitably gravitate to self interest as a default so how do we address this lack of virtue without, as Mr Worthington says, addressing it?

The answer was refreshing and simple - We are provided inspiration and guidance by identifying, reading about, learning from and deferring our ego to one’s own “Heroes of Humility.” ~ We must defer to learn.

What does it all boil down to? Everyone should have some capacity to feel humbled by something at some point, to be conscious, even fleetingly, of the fact we are not the centre of the universe, all-powerful, all-knowing. But some people never do, even when confronted by the full majesty of their ignorance or human limitations. How do we each address this? Find our own “Heroes of Humility” and learn from them.

Men of Influence.

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"Leadership is influence."~ John C. Maxwell.

We are each the product of our influences - men and women who have influenced our thoughts, values, words and actions. We ultimately all become that which we most focus on. We can read and become inspired. We can reach out to, meet and learn from them. We can admire those who do that which we cannot or will not do and hopefully we will strive to be just a little bit better because of the lessons learned from those we respect. Or we stagnate in self absorption and navel gazing spending years repeating thoughts, behavior and actions that were formed and calcified way before our adulthood. Life is either a trivial repetition of similar results or it is a joyous challenge to be embraced as we learn to do and be more than we are - every moment of every day.

Read and learn from those who inspire you - Below are a few of mine but please pick your own - Then do what very few choose to do -Take actions that would make those you respect proud of you. Life is a short journey filled with what you most focus on. Take action.

Epictetus

James Stockdale

Sir Winston Churchill

Colonel Howard

Men with Drama.

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"You can overcome anything if you don't bellyache."
Bernard M. Baruch.

I was talking to an old mentor and friend recently. Discussing world affairs, women and warriors and like old buzzards invariably do we were pontificating, in our own simple minded way, on how to make the world a better place. Now I really like and respect this guy but neither of us are known for our empathy or understanding of what we consider the little trials human beings experience in life. We notoriously jump right to "ok - now what are you going to do about that?" It's a character flaw we know, accept, and do very little about correcting - to our discredit. So when he stated, after more than one single malt, "You know what the problem is Dan?" I said no, "Why don't you tell me?" I was ready for his infamous "Wet birds don't fly at night" or something similar and he said "It's Men with Drama".

The problem with the world today is there are too many "Men with Drama" and not enough guys, and girls who just shut the hell up and do something about their problems. Now I'm all for support, support groups and understanding he said. But enough is enough with the drama. Now is the time for all good people to respond "I feel your pain."
"Now what are you going to do about it?"
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What Defines You?

America is all about success and she has a myriad of definitions.
But what defines you? Some people like to hang their hat on individual success, fame, fortune, celebrity or standing as to what defines them.
I humbly offer the premise that it's really your flaws that define you in America. No not the flaws themselves - but what you do about them. Don't believe me? Think it's your success that defines you? Let's take Tiger, Terry, Toyota and Tylenol as examples. Each enjoyed enormous success and then we saw some flaws. What will they do about them we ask? There is an old saying that resonates with me which states "The lowest level of performance you display as a leader is the highest level of performance you can expect of your team". We all have flaws and each of us succeeds to varying degrees and interpretations in life.
I humbly submit it's what we do about our flaws that defines us.

Do Hard Things.

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"Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth. Tame the dragon and the gift is yours". ~ Noela Evans.

You never know who you are going to bump into in life and what they will remember about you. I was standing in the buffet line at the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas, during a recent trade show, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Sarge" a voice said. Well it had been over thirty years since anyone called me that, but I turned to look at an older but familiar face. "Ronnie Smith what are you doing these days?" I said. Ronnie was a young soccer player I had coached many years ago, right after i had gotten out of the military. "I just got back from China" he said, and I wanted to spend a few days "R and R in Vegas" before my next jaunt overseas. " What the heck were you doing in China?" I said. He smiled and tilted his head slightly, looking right to recall the memory. Remember what you used to tell us in practice - every single practice? I did. "Do what others can't or won't."

You know there is a book out in the bookstores right now called "Do Hard Things" and it reminds me of what you used to say. I took that stuff to heart Ronnie said. I went into the service and became a Quiet Professional and then later went to work for Oxfam. For the last three years I have been in Yongjing county in China helping with relief efforts. I had to learn the Chinese dialect Sijiaji and let me tell you that was a hard thing to say the least. "Too many people go through their lives just dealing with what comes their way", he whispered, and I determined I was not going to be one of those people. I have two kids in college and do you know what I drum into their heads?

"Do Hard Things" and "Do What Others Can't or Won't"

Ronnie said. If there's one piece of advice I would give to anyone who asks me how they can get more satisfaction from their life I'd say:

Do Hard Things.

Ronnie made me smile.

The American Bus.

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"America is another name for opportunity." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.

As an immigrant, who became an American Soldier, and unabashed cheerleader for this land of opportunity the chorus of wailing that echos through our land today seems a little silly. Challenges and change are inevitable and prophets of doom have sold their bill of goods since the dawn of time but you know what? ~ The Opportunity Remains.

I see individuals and circumstances today much like individuals and circumstances have been and always will be. Compared to other periods, and particularly when we look over centuries, if anything, our circumstances, standard of living and lot in life is considerably better now than it has been at any time in history. But the human character always presents some that solve and some that squeal. Meanwhile the American bus travels on down the highway. She moves forward.

On board are many varied faces, opinions and voices, each with the opportunity to speak up and take action. Some talk. Some talk and take action and some just take action. Each of us has the opportunity to say and do something about the direction, speed and quality of the journey we take on the American bus. Each of us has a hand on the brake. The brake can squeal and slow us, perhaps bringing us to a stop every now and then. But sooner or later we choose a direction, take an action, and move America forward again. Why am I such an avid and ardent cheerleader on our Awesome American Bus? 

Because The Opportunity Remains.

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